... "England would have a better night if Andy Carroll sang in Eurovision and Engelbert Humperdinck played upfront in Norway."
England launched the Roy Hodgson era in positive fashion with victory over Norway via Ashley Young's goal - but midfielder Gareth Barry gave them an injury scare.
Young earned England their first win over the Norwegians since 1980 with a clinical finish after only nine minutes of this Oslo friendly.
The line-up selected by Hodgson is likely to bear little resemblance to the side which will face France in the Euro 2012 opener in 17 days time.
Only Andy Carroll, skipper Steven Gerrard, Scott Parker and Ashley Young are near certainties to play in Donetsk and the entire back five will probably change.
But there were still encouraging signs for Hodgson, who maintained the record of no England manager having been beaten in their opening game since Alf Ramsey in 1963.
Young looked sharp and confident in the second striker role and showed encouraging signs in tandem with Carroll.
Parker looked to be suffering no ill-effects from his Achilles problem and dictated and bossed the midfield in his 55 minutes of action.
Centre-back Joleon Lescott also staked his claim to have a major role in Hodgson's plans in Poland and Ukraine with a commanding performance.
England manager Roy Hodgson was satisfied with his team's performance: "It was a great start for us to win here in Norway.
"We had three days tough training and I was a bit concerned about the fatigue factor, with one or two of the players feeling muscles, but that's because we've been working so hard in training.
"But it's a fantastic start to my time in charge because it's not often you get a result in Norway.
"At times we could have been a bit more positive, but that's something we've got to work on.
"But we've started sowing a few seeds and by the time the Euros come around we should have done a bit more work."