Allegedly Arsenal are after Kevin Nolan; half the clubs in the Premiership are tracking Andy Carroll; Spiderman is heading to Spain; and Steven Taylor is bound for Chelsea.
But don't believe the bullshit, because Mike Ashley has been to hell and back after watching Kevin Keegan jump ship, and having to sit through Newcastle's relegation last season.
The death threats from Toon fans have stopped, and Ashley is no longer Public Enemy No 1 ... and I don't believe for a second he will hold a car boot sale when the season ends.
He hasn't fully restored the club to the level he found it, but we are on the mend, and he knows ripping apart the squad Chris Hughton has built would be something he would never recover from.
Will Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger bid of £5 million for Nolan? Would Ashley take it? Would Nolan go?
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