The man looks like a snivelling little shit ... and if the truth was known ... he probably IS a snivelling little shit.
And if the bullshit he hands us week after week - "we will have a new owner by the end of the week" - is anything to go by ... the man's word is not worth a light.
I can tell you ... the sale of Newcastle United is no further forward today as it was three months ago, as talk of Middle East interest was played down by the club today.
Hopes had been lifted over the weekend with talk that Dubai International Capital – previously linked with Liverpool – were interested in buying United, but this has been played down to the Chronicle by the Mike Ashley camp.
And so too has talk of a local consortium with Middle East backing coming in imminently after Tyneside businessman Barry Moat, who has enjoyed a cordial relationship with Ashley in the past, was spotted several times at St James’s Park at the start of last week.
Ashley’s PR firm could only utter a “no comment” statement today, a source said: “I would guide people well away from the link with Dubai International Capital.
“The reality is there is nothing there on that.
“The club is still up for sale and the asking price is £100m.
“To ask how long it will take is almost an impossible question to answer.
“It could go through in due course – or it could take six months.”
How I wish those underpants had hit Llambias at Darlington ... but don't rule it out happening very soon.
I won't change mine for the next three weeks then turn up at his door.