Miller has been dropped for Scotland's crucial Euro 2012 qualifier against Czech Republic, and under-fire Levein is desperate to find a superstar to get him out of the shit!
Levein has made several trips to St James' Park to try and get Carroll AND Shola Ameobi to play for Scotland, but neither has taken up the offer.
How the hell Nigerian-born Ameobi qualifies is something the TV programme "Who Do You Think You Are" would struggle to unearth ... but allegedly ... there's some Sweaty Sock blood in there somewhere.
As for Carroll ... well he was rather miffed that he was overlooked for the current England squad and some 33-year old numpty from Bolton has been drafted in for his first cap.
I'm not suggesting Carroll will suddenly switch flags, but I'm sure Levein will be dangling a carrot.
It has been confirmed that Miller, who had been on course to earn his 50th cap, is dropped.
The team suggests Levein could opt for a 4-2-2-2 formation ... something only a man fed on haggis could dream up!