Freddy Shepherd is sat at St James' telling everyone (thick enough to believe him) that he has not made a penny out of Newcastle United. Yes ... and my mam's Benidorm's "Sticky Vicki".
I can honestly say I cannot ever remember a chairman of Newcastle spout so much bullshit as "The Fat One" ... and boy have we had some Dipsticks in our time. But the Daily Mail seem to have the man sussed.
Daily Mail: "The most intriguing sound of the sporting week was Newcastle United's denial that they were about to be taken over. The club insisted that no offer had been made. They couldn't say for certain if an offer was imminent, nor how big that offer might be. But if anything should happen, then they'd be sure to let us know.
"Some will accept that statement at face value. They are the innocents who will spend next weekend putting out milk and biscuits for a bearded gentleman in a red jacket. Others will see it as a sign that the Newcastle board will sell if the price is right. And that price will be set somewhere above the £227 million which the American financiers, Polygon, and the United Bank of Switzerland are said to be prepared to pay.
"Now, I wouldn't know if that represents a reasonable deal, since I cannot conceive of a sum as vast as £227m. What interests me is the possibility that the Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd, along with the former chairman Sir John Hall and his gifted son, Douglas, could benefit by as much as £68m from such a transaction.
"Television revenues are about to soar to unprecedented levels and the top clubs will profit accordingly. And, if you stretch the definition as far as it will go, Newcastle are a top club. Hence the potential rewards for Freddy, Sir John and the gifted Douglas.
"However, we should not dwell upon the deficiencies of this charmless trinity. Sure, some will remember Sir John spouting egregious tosh about the ‘Geordie nation', while others might recall Freddy's indiscreet references to Geordie women and the price of Newcastle shirts. Douglas, I fear, has left no obvious trace in the sand.
"No matter. The salient point is that, between them, they stand to gain a notional £68m. I repeat: £68m. And this for a club for which Sir John Hall paid just £3m in 1991, a club which has provided a lucrative stream of revenue for these three fine fellows for the past 15 years. Why, just last year, our Freddy earned some £530,000 in salary, a sum which many in the North-East might reasonably envy.
"Greed is good, money screams, the rich shall inherit the earth.These are the common imperatives of the competing clubs.
"Of course, they like to deflect criticism and they are pointedly silent when players' payments are concerned. True, Sir John Hall did remark: ‘Our fans must look in amazement at some of the vast sums of money paid out.' But he was not referring to the rewards of deserving directors.
"We may well shudder when a clown like Ashley Cole announces that £55,000 a week is ‘taking the p***' but his impertinence pales by comparison with Martin Edwards' £93m. And, to my knowledge, nobody ever paid to watch Edwards go about his business.
"But nobody cares, nobody is outraged, nobody believes that this is anything other than the natural way of things. Yet this is the national game, the sport of the people. This is the game we know most surely and prize most highly.
"Foolishly, we believed that it retained a value which was somehow beyond mere money. And we were wrong. Which is why the destiny of Newcastle United no longer has the power to enlist the emotions.
"For this is a sport whose assets are routinely bought and sold by greedy mediocrities with deep pockets.
"You may think that a tragedy. And you would be right."