Pennyless Mackem And The Toon Hoax!
A press release issued on behalf of a 'Rick Parkinson' on Friday morning announced he had put together a five-man consortium ready to offer Mike Ashley £90million for the club.
Parker, who's string vest is known to house 14 different kinds of insects, is well known to locals as having "a head full of broken toys".
He tried to get on Britain's Got Talent by pushing 32 ferrets down his pants, but he failed the audition.
He told the Daily Mail: "It's all friendly banter. I'm sure the majority of Magpie fans will see the funny side but I'm afraid it is something they're going to have to put up with for a while.
"We haven't had a great deal to shout about in the last 16 years or so at Sunderland, but this summer has, without doubt, made up for all those years of hurt. Newcastle's plight, as difficult as it is for their fans, is music to our ears.
"We could easily have gone down on the final day as well, but that makes it all the funnier for Sunderland fans and nobody can really blame us for milking it for as long as we possibly can."
ORIGINAL ARTICLE:
Mystery surrounded claims a north-east businessman is ready to launch a £150million takeover of Newcastle.
A press release issued on behalf of a Rick Parkinson early today announced he has put together a five-man consortium which is ready to offer Mike Ashley £90million for the club, £10million below his asking price.
In addition, Parkinson and his backers say they would put £30million into restructuring the business and install Alan Shearer as manager with a £30million war-chest.
They are yet to contact Seymour Pierce, the investment bankers handling the sale, although they claim they will be ready to do so within the next 10 days.
However, the news came as just that in the north-east with neither the club nor well-placed sources in the city aware of Parkinson and his consortium.
Seymour Pierce chairman Keith Harris is understood to have opened talks with up to four different prospective purchasers, the latest of them the Singapore-based Profitable Group, which confirmed its interest earlier this week.
But other interested parties are thought to have made greater progress as Ashley attempts to end his stay on Tyneside as soon as possible.