The latest joke to arrive via text today is:
Government weather warning just released ...
"The current flood situation in the UK is becoming a major concern. Gordon Brown is asking all Geordies to stop f***ing crying!"
Meanwhile "World Of Sport" reporter Alan Swann claims: "Even I predicted Keegan return to Newcastle would end in tears".
Should We (NUFC Fans) Laugh At Ourselves?
And coming from a right prick, that is rather worrying.
Swann: I didn't take Nostradamus or even Russell Grant to predict that Kevin Keegan's return to Newcastle would end in tears.
For pity's sake even I predicted it and I'm so stupid I thought Manchester United would implode last season.
But even I've been taken aback by the sheer hilarity of the situation.
Keegan was an insane appointment made even madder by the recuitment of hate figure Dennis Wise to work above him. But it's the reaction of the Newcastle fans to every club crisis that creases me up - you'd have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at those Magpie muppets.
It always amazes me that so many of them are able to converge on St James' Park whenever there's a TV camera in the vicinty. Are they all unemployed or playing truant? Is there nothing else to do up there, but wail at their club descending further into farce?
It's great comedy TV for the rest of us though. So many of the poor deluded fools who get to talk in front of the camera believe that Keegan really was The Messiah and that the board represent the devil.
Well there you go, obviously a reporter who knows his football, and constrictive with it. And by the way Mr Swann ... THAT was sarcasm.