You can win the lottery, score with a super model, and win a Ferrari on a scratch-card ... but spend two minutes talking to "Mr Happy" Mark Lawrenson and I'm sure you will want to go and string yourself up from the tree in the garden. Yes ... the man was a bloodhound in a previous life.
Once again, just like back in 1997 when he joined us as coach after telling Kevin Keegan where he was going wrong, the BBC pundit is sticking his neb in.
"Everyone is talking about all the teams being boring by playing 4-5-1," said Lawrenson. "But the day we ever see a Newcastle team play 4-5-1 we may as well all go home.
"Defending has never been a priority at Newcastle. That's just the way they are. You don't expect Newcastle to do things right, do you? Like buy three world-class centre-backs or full-backs and be boring?
"But if they get going this season they will still be everyone's second best team who they want to watch. Would the punters be happy if Newcastle were fantastic defensively? I'm not sure they would. They just love to see the team going forward.
"Souness is pragmatic. I think he understands the fact that they've got to have good players going forward."
"Newcastle are certainly the one that bucks the trend. Everyone still likes to go and watch them play, but it is like a soap opera. There's EastEnders, Emmerdale and Coronation Street, and then the fourth one is Newcastle United - and it probably always will be."