He won sod all as a player ... a fat, slow and clueless defender who made a living out of the game, and no more.
As a manager ... he has won ... sod all!
But, apparently, he tells us football is in a sorry state without him.
Having been out of the game seven months, why has no club offered him a job?
Who would take him? Well it won't take long before the Premiership managerial merry-go-round starts turning, with Mark Hughes favourite to go first at 11/4.
But Man City would want a winner if Hughes did get the boot, and obviously that rules out Fat Sam.
But he told Talksport he would bring success to any of the Top Four Premiership sides ... should they give him a job.
And boy how we laughed.