The poisoned dwarf is hardly knee-high to Dennis Wise, but he has a head ... and a gob ... as big as anything in the game.
He loves himself ... but who loves him?
Certainly not Redknapp or Capello. And will his words of flattery (to himself) change things? Let's hope not.
Jermain Defoe: "With the sharpness I've got now, I believe I should be playing.
"When you're playing well, I believe you should play. I feel completely different from how I did last season.
"I probably came back too soon after injuring my ankle with England last September and sometimes it's difficult after an injury to get that sharpness I'd always had. But I now feel as strong as I've felt for a while, probably the strongest I've felt in my whole career.
"My England record is good [15 goals in 46 games] and I was disappointed not to be in the last squad but it makes you more hungry. When I'm fit and sharp, and in the form I'm in now, I can score goals at that level. I've done it before.
"The manager knows what I can do, especially with playing in the last World Cup and gaining that experience. I look forward to seeing what happens but I will do whatever it takes to get on the plane, like I did last time.
"I always say that if you put in the hard work, it pays off. I was looking forward to the game against Newcastle and I was disappointed not to start but when you put the work in, it's easy on match day."
NEXT NEWCASTLE UTD MATCH:
TOON v WIGAN ATH.
Saturday October 22nd KO 3pm
Saturday 22nd October 2011
Wolverhampton Wanderers v Swansea City 12:45
Aston Villa v West Bromwich Albion 15:00
Bolton Wanderers v Sunderland 15:00
Newcastle United v Wigan Athletic 15:00
Liverpool v Norwich City 17:30
Sunday 23rd October 2011
Arsenal v Stoke City 13:30
Fulham v Everton 13:30
Manchester United v Manchester City 13:30
Blackburn Rovers v Tottenham Hotspur 15:00
Queens Park Rangers v Chelsea 16:00
MAGPIES IN EUROPE
£9.99 Available From:
NEWCASTLE-UPON-TYNE
M&M News; 140 Northumberland St.
One Stop News; 44 Blackett St.
Blackwell Bookshop; 141 Percy St.
The Back Page; 56 St Andrews St.
CHESTER-LE-STREET
The Bookcase; 131 Front St
NEWCASTLE UNITED 20011/12
PREMIER LEAGUE
NEWCASTLE 2 SPURS 2 (Ba, Ameobi)
Krul, Simpson (Santon 77), Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Best (Shola Ameobi 71), Ba (Ben Arfa 71).
Subs Not Used: Elliot, Lovenkrands, Gosling, Marveaux.
WOLVES 1 NEWCASTLE 2 (Ba, Gutierrez)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan (Marveaux 90), Cabaye (Guthrie 89), Tiote, Gutierrez, Best, Ba (Lovenkrands 71).
Subs Not Used: Elliot, Santon, Ben Arfa, Sammy Ameobi.
NEWCASTLE 3 BLACKBURN 1 (Ba 3)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez (Marveaux 84), Ba (Ben Arfa 74), Best.
Subs Not Used: Harper, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Perch, Sammy Ameobi.
ASTON VILLA 1 NEWCASTLE 1 (Best)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez (Sammy Ameobi 85), Best (Shola Ameobi 69), Ba (Marveaux 80).
Subs Not Used: Elliot, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Perch.
QPR 0 NEWCASTLE 0
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan (Sammy Ameobi 88), Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Best (Marveaux 82), Shola Ameobi (Ba 64).
Subs Not Used: Elliot, Santon, Guthrie, Lovenkrands.
NEWCASTLE 2 FULHAM 1 (Best 2)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Lovenkrands (Ba 62), Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Obertan, Best (Vuckic 78), Vuckic (Smith 85).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, Ferguson.
SUNDERLAND 0 NEWCASTLE UTD 1 (R Taylor)
Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Tiote, Cabaye (Williamson 85), Barton, Obertan (Gosling 85), Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi.
Subs Not Used: Harper, Lovenkrands, Ba, Best, Marveaux.
NEWCASTLE 0 ARSENAL 0
Krul, Coloccini, Steven Taylor, Ryan Taylor, Simpson, Barton, Cabaye (Lovenkrands 81), Tiote, Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi (Best 73), Ba (Obertan 46).
Subs Not Used: Forster, Williamson, Gosling, Sammy Ameobi.
CARLING CUP
NOTTINGHAM FOR. 3 NEWCASTLE 4 (AET) Lovenkrands 2, Simpson, Coloccini
Elliot, Simpson, Coloccini, Perch, Ferguson, Abeid, Guthrie, Gosling (Shola Ameobi 70), Marveaux, Ben Arfa (Sammy Ameobi 70), Lovenkrands (Obertan 80).
Subs Not Used: Krul, Best, Dummett, Henderson.
SCUNTHORPE 1 NEWCASTLE 2 AET (R Taylor, Sammy Ameobi)
Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson (Steven Taylor 45), Ryan Taylor, Marveaux, Gosling (Vuckic 70), Cabaye, Lovenkrands, Best, Ba (Sammy Ameobi 65).
Subs Not Used: Soderberg, Abeid, Smith, Ferguson.
PRE-SEASON FIXTURES
NEWCASTLE 0 FIORENTINA 0
(Ab 63 mins)
Krul (Forster 46), Simpson, S Taylor, Coloccini, Enrique, Gosling (Ba 46), Cabaye, Vuckic, Jonas (Marveaux 46) Lovenkrands (R Taylor 61), Best (Shola Ameobi 46).Subs: Sammy Ameobi, Ranger, Tavernier, Williamson.
LEEDS UTD 3 NEWCASTLE 2 (S.Taylor, Vuckic)
Forster, Cabaye, Williamson, Barton, Simpson, Gosling, Gutierrez, Ba, Shola Ameobi, Taylor, Tavernier. Subs: Krul, Taylor, Best, Vuckic, Sammy Ameobi, Dummett.
COLUMBUS CREW 0 NEWCASTLE 3 (Ameobi, Coloccini, Vuckic)
Harper; Tavernier, S Taylor, Coloccini (Dummett, 54), Enrique; Gutierrez (Abeid, 85), Tiote (Smith, 62), Gosling, Marveaux (Vuckic, 76); Ameobi (Best, 75), Ba. Subs not used: Forster, Krul.
ORLANDO CITY 1 NEWCASTLE 0
Forster; R Taylor (Enrique, 26), S Taylor, Coloccini, Tavernier; Gosling (Vuckic, 71), Smith (Abeid, 74), Tiote, Gutierrez; Best (Ba, 74), Lovenkrands (Ameobi, 74). Subs not used: Krul, Harper.
SPORTING KANSAS 0 NEWCASTLE 0
Krul, Gosling, Coloccini, S Taylor, R Taylor, Marveaux (Tavernier 46), Tiote (Abeid 46), Ben Arfa, Gutierrez, Ba (Best 72), Lovenkrands (Smith 46).
DARLINGTON 0 NEWCASTLE 2 (Barton, Sammy Ameobi)
Forster; Simpson (Dummett), S Taylor (Tavernier), Williamson (Henderson), Ferguson (R Taylor); Barton (Abeid), Guthrie (Cabaye, Donaldson), Smith (Gosling), Vuckic (Sammy Ameobi); Ben Arfa (Richardson), Best (Ranger). Subs not used: Soderberg, Newton.